(Editors note: Dr. Matthew is a spiritual guide and mentor. Through the ages, in dark and troubling times his sage advice has been sought by the lost of the world. (He has often abused this position to take advantage of teenage girls, especially as he has got older. You have been warned.) Below is a call for help to his eminence.  

 

Dear Matthew,

 

As I write this I am sitting on a roof terrace overlooking the Guatemalan town of Quetzeltenango. Travelling north, summer is giving way to spring and soon we will be transported with a jolt into a harsh winter. Things on the road are good and the future looks bright. We finish our Spanish classes on Wednesday and will head north to the Mayan town, or what is left of it as a tourist attraction, of Tikal. We stopped at the smaller site at Copan, which was really, really fucking funky. From there it is off to Mexico to meet our friend Felix, who as fate would have it won big on the cricket and decided to christmas in Cancunt so he could chase loose and sloppy yankee pussy, without any doubt to no avail. From there we are off to see the family in the belly of the beast.

 

I am trying to arrange to do several months volunteering in Honduras next spring, but these deranged hippy sorts are insisting that I participate in a week long training course in San Fran. Now, as you know I love to learn things and self-improvement has always been a hobby of mine, but after several questions of what I was being asked to learn – I feared they just wanted us to hang out, sit in circles and listen to some cunt play guitar – they came back with ‘group building’. So, it seems I was right. This could prove to be a bummer, but we shall see. I just refuse to listen to some skinny freak whose mother kisses him with her tongue play shit covers and act like I like it.

 

Whilst I have you here, I want to pick your brain a bit. I figure as you are the doctor, I am the Mrs Hudson to your Watson. Now we just need a Holmes. Anyway, I need your skills. Whilst in America I plan to spend a month in a library, more hopefully. Now, I am loving the reading, but think I might go insane if I don’t start putting something down onto paper and have something to show, just to myself, for these months of nut-rubbing. Of course, we all know the truisms that undercut the propaganda being spouted at us, the question is what to fucking do about it. That though, is for another time. (I am also off to visit with several of these smelly occupy groups, but my criticisms for that will have to wait until I can gauge how bad the stench truly is.)

 

Library. Any thoughts or reading recommendations most welcome. (Later lord)

 

Peace and love duder,

 

Josh

 

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